The gift that keeps on giving

Ahh, it’s the morning after.

A sense of joy and relief wash over you. Christmas is past.

You smile at the memories—the beautiful tree, the wonderful food, the happy faces.

Suddenly, your mellow mood is shattered. Under the tree, a freshly opened gift sparks a chill that even your flannel jammies can’t combat.

“It was a wool scarf with HUGE stars on it—handmade, purchased from a craft fair,“ recalled Elizabeth Woodson of Elizabeth W. Gift Baskets, a business she runs out of her family home in Rich Creek in the New River Valley.

“It was just hideous. The color was kind of purple and orangey, and the fringe on it was pretty awful, too.“

What to do?

Woodson is a pro at regifting, passing an unwanted gift on to another recipient. She maintains a closet of white elephants she has received. As she politely puts it: “They are beautiful but just don’t work for me.“ She’s careful to label each with the giver’s name so she doesn’t accidentally regift it back to the same person.

Although it has been commonplace for as long as presents have been exchanged, a 1995 “Seinfeld” episode called “The Label Maker” dubbed the practice “regifting.“ “Seinfeld” writers also maintained that if a recipient repeats the name of the gift, he/she must hate it—as in, “Oh. Tube socks.“

“In these times, there probably are people who have never regifted and who think it’s a shameful thing to do,“ Woodson said. “But if it’s really nice and just not your taste, it’s better to give it to someone who’d appreciate it.“ And there are plenty of people who can use what you discard.

Sarah Paxton, vice president of LaDifference furniture store in Richmond, regifts, but only if the item is new and unopened.

“I have regifted cookbooks when I’ve received the same one twice and one was still wrapped in plastic,“ she said, “and I’ve regifted items my daughter has received when it’s a duplicate or when too much glitter glue is NOT a good thing.“

It’s tempting to get rid of horrific gifts, but Paxton refrains. “I’ve often thought about regifting something I don’t like, but then I don’t want the recipient to think that’s my taste either!“

Precisely. That’s why Woodson gave the starry scarf to Goodwill. “If it’s that hideous, I wouldn’t want to give it to someone I like,“ she said.

Below are some guidelines on how to regift, degift or otherwise get rid of presents that miss the mark:

REGIFTING

—Shed the guilt. Even Judith Martin of Miss Manners fame decreed the practice of regifting acceptable in her 2005 edition of “Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.“
—Check the wrapping and gift card. The most common mistake amateur regifters make, Woodson said, is to pass along the original card when they pass along the gift. Be sure you get the gift tag signed, “Aunt Lucille” off of it. Most of all, make sure you are not giving it to Aunt Lucille.
—Record-keeping is crucial. Stash unwanted gifts together in a closet or drawer so you can find an instant present quickly when you need one. Keep a log of gifts and givers or write the recipient’s name on a sticky note and attach it to the gift.
—Rewrap your regift. It’s the least you can do. Besides, nothing says “regifted” like a crumpled bag and used tissue paper.
—Give new, not used. A new purse with the tags still on it that you relegated to the regift drawer is acceptable. One that you carried a couple of times and then decided you didn’t like is not.
—Match the gift to a recipient. No one wants poker-playing dogs on velvet unless it’s a gag gift or is intended to make someone gag. A relative who enjoys the outdoors, however, might love those battery-operated hot socks.
—Don’t regift within your family or circle of friends. Someone may remember seeing you open the yodeling-fish plaque and sing like a canary.
—Don’t give yourself away. Own it, Woodson advises. Don’t feel guilty just because you didn’t actually pay for it. You put thought into it and, after all, that’s what counts. Present your gift proudly and confidently and, for goodness sake, don’t tell or get all shifty-eyed and sweaty when they open it.

DEGIFTING

—Grit your teeth and get in line. You can exchange a bad gift if you have the receipt or a store with a fair return policy. Be considerate of folks you buy for and include gift receipts.
—Donate things you don’t want or need to charity. Leave the tags attached. Thrift stores have new items on the shelves all the time.
—Sell items at consignment shops. Just don’t do it in the area where the original giver lives.
—Put gifts you hate in a yard sale. (See cautionary note for consignment shops.)
—Sell the gifts on eBay or other online site. Again, remember that you never know who’s perusing auction sites. Sell or trade unwanted gift cards at http://www.swapagift.com.
—Throw a party. You know what they say about one man’s trash. Regiftable.com suggests this format: Each guest brings one wrapped regift. Next, guests draw a number. The regifter with the lowest number chooses a wrapped regift and opens it for everyone to see. The person with the next lowest number can either take the opened regift or select a “new” wrapped regift. If they choose a “new” regift, they must open it for all to see. The pattern continues. If a regift is taken from someone, that person gets to immediately choose another “new” gift to open or they can get revenge by stealing someone else’s gift. When all the regifts have been opened, the person with the lowest number gets to trade with someone or keep their last regift.