Looking for something to do this weekend? Here’s what’s going on ‘round town.

As much as I admire President-Elect Barack Obama, I’m reconsidering my offer to serve in his administration. It’s not because of ideological differences, it’s because I wasn’t aware of the written exam.

Betsy Hale Bannan of Roanoke received the award for her piece, “Our Girl in Tinian.” 

http://www.events.wsls.com

As an objective journalist, it would be unethical for me to publicly lobby for a high-level cabinet position in the Obama administration. That’s why I hired Cousin Junior, owner and operator of Cousin Junior’s Small Engine Repair, Discount Taxidermy and Certified Lobbying Services, to do it for me. I now turn this column over to him.

The 30th Anniversary National Tour of the Tony Award-winning musical AIN’T MISBEHAVIN’ starring Ruben Studdard comes to the Roanoke Performing Arts Theatre in Roanoke for one performance only January 6

Painfully, I have learned which is my most important finger. And if anyone asks me to carve a last-minute pumpkin ever again, there’s a good chance they will get a look at my second most important finger.

Everything you need for a festive holiday. Check out our interactive map of events and spooky places around the region, get costume ideas, party planning help, pumpkin carving tips and more!

Here’s a look at what’s going on this weekend, ‘Round Town.

So, here’s to all those who made a name-check appearance in a candidate’s stump speech on that campaign trail, a trail of terror that seemed to go on forever and ever and ever and ever like this sentence and eventually made me want to rip my ears off with a pair of pliers so I could hear no more of it.

With Halloween just around the corner, folks will soon sit down to carve ghoulish faces and single-tooth grins on their favorite pumpkin, creating one-of-a-kind jack o’lanterns.

Kashmir Csaky started singing “I Heard It Through the Grapevine” as she danced in front of the large blue parrot standing on his perch.  Gucci, a hyacinth macaw, studied her for a moment and then began to dance, swaying in time with her music. He’d pause as the song tapered off, then continue his rhythmic bopping.

Here’s a look at what’s going on this weekend ‘Round Town.

The World Series matchup of the Tampa Bay Rays and some team from Philadelphia will be decided on the baseball diamond. But now is the time to decide which locality serves the better sandwich.

Is your floor creaking with no one walking across it? Hearing voices call to you from the dark?
Call VAMP Investigations, they will tell you if it’s your floor planks or the paranormal making those bumps in the night.

Here’s a look at what’s going on this weekend, ‘Round Town.

Given that Halloween is overtaking Christmas as the holiday- you’re-most-likely-to-be-sick-of-by-the-time-it-actually-arrives, you’ll want to have some chatter stats ready for those weekend costume parties.

The following is the Ridiculous, Often Hate-Filled Crackpot Political Form Letter to the Editor Packed with Idiotic Half Truths and Outright Lies (patent pending). I’ve done all the back-breaking labor. All you have to do is circle one of the two choices provided, mail the letter to your newspaper if it is still in operation and send me a $237 consulting fee.

From an Appalachian “Bigfoot” allegedly seen in Campbell County, Tenn., to ghost tales near Middlesborough, Ky., author Larry Thacker uncovers many “Mountain Mysteries” in his most recent book. Besides Thacker’s book, spirits are also what you’ll find in a recent release called “Ghosthunting Virginia” (Clerisy Press, $14.95) by author Michael Varhola.

By the time we reached The Tavern in Abingdon, Va., Donnamarie Emmert was on a roll. Every few houses, she stopped and told a crowd of about a dozen of us another ghost story.

You probably know the back story by now: The government bails out failing insurance giant AIG for $85 billion. Six days later the company spends $440,000 on a weeklong retreat at a posh resort. That includes $23,000 for spa services, or roughly what my wife and I paid for our first house.

Is the credit crunch keeping you from
getting a home loan? Well, here’s a little beauty you can have for
free.

Here’s a look at what’s going on ‘Round Town this weekend.

Here’s a look at what’s going on this weekend, ‘Round Town.

I admire those who do wade into the intellectual deep end of the creek, and often ask them for help with crossword puzzles. What I don’t like is some snooty European goober named Horace insisting American authors couldn’t write their way out of a bucket if it was two-thirds full of multi-syllable words.

I was waiting in line at the truck stop along with every other knucklehead swept up in the panic of the Great Southeastern Gas Shortage of Early Fall 2008 when my mind wandered

Phil Vassar and Kellie Pickler have navigated distinctly different routes to their current membership in the exclusive club of Nashville artists who enjoy heavy rotation in mainstream country radio airwaves.

Here’s a look at what’s going on this weekend ‘Round Town.

You could be tasered.

David Hudson, 19, pulled off the Daily Double of a lifetime—his second triumph on the venerable game show “Jeopardy!“—and won $25,000.