Facebook Who’s really a “friend?“

Sometime in the last 18-24 months I set up accounts on My Space and Facebook, so I could communicate with my teenage sons when we weren’t texting. 

It felt a little funny.  A few of the 20-somethings in the newsroom were like, “Carlin, YOU have a Facebook account?  Whoa!”  And they meant it.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago and I’m sitting in a seminar on the newest ways to communicate with viewers.  (Actually it was a ‘webinar.’ The moderator was in Richmond, we were all in a conference room watching him on a computer monitor.)  The webinar moderator casually says, that Facebook and its competitors are no longer the domain of teenagers and college kids.  “The biggest users are young professionals and business people who want to network.”

“Hey,” I thought.  “That’s me!”

I may have taken the wrong route (parenting) but I arrived at the place to be if you want to talk to others who have a common interest.

It’s been cool.  People who’ve come through the halls of WSLS and moved on to other stations and careers have found me, and we’ve re-established contact.  Local folks who work on boards and committees have been added as “friends” and kept me abreast of happenings in Roanoke.

But there’s another phenomenon that most people don’t face.  I get a fair number of “friend” requests from people I don’t know and don’t know if I WANT to know.

I mean, maybe I do.  But how do I know?  Do we have “friends in common?”  Common interests?  Are they part of a local group that I as a newsperson or parent would want to know about?  Do they also have a saltwater aquarium, run, bike, fish or write?

Occasionally, I meet people at the mall, at a festival or while waiting to pay at Famous Anthony’s.  Five years later these people will approach me as if we have coffee every Sunday. They will also send friend requests on Facebook.

I’m struggling with this. I don’t want to be a cyber-snob, but I don’t want to accept total strangers as “friends” either. 

What does that say to the people who really are my friends?  Doesn’t it diminish them in some way?  I mean, “friend” is not a term you should use lightly.  It means something to be someone’s friend.

Maybe I’m bringing old world thinking into a new world technology.  Maybe as a public figure of sorts, I should just take every friend request that comes along.

But I can’t.  Please don’t be disappointed if I deny a “friend request.”  It’s not personal.  If I knew you well enough to be personal, I’d probably accept you or you’d already know why I didn’t!

So here’s the deal.  If you want to check out my Facebook page, please do.  If you want to send a friend request, and you weren’t the best man at my wedding or a WSLS Camera operator in 1987, please indicate where we have common ground.  I’ll wrestle with my decision and click yes or no.

If anyone wants to share how they handle this, or how I should feel free to write.