What’s wrong with socks and sandals?

There are much more important things to be debated.  We have the presidential election, a war in Iraq and 400 children in Texas who aren’t sure of the answer to the question, “Who’s your mother?”

Yet here in April, as the season’s change and the dogwoods bloom I want to know the answer to a different question: Why is it so bad to wear socks with sandals?

My kids hate it.  My wife pretends she doesn’t know me.  Neighbors make like they just don’t notice. 

It started innocently enough last fall.  During down time in the warmer months my typical attire is shorts, t-shirt and sport sandals – the kind with rubber soles and “Velcro” straps.  I had a pair of Tevas for years until one too many wading trips in the James River caused the hook and loop fasteners to no longer hook, loop or fasten.

So now, it’s a pair of cheapies from the Bass shoe outlet.  They’ve become worn in and molded to my feet, and some people probably think they are actually a part of my anatomy.

So last fall when the weather turned a little cooler, rather than suffer cold feet, I simply slipped them on over a pair of wool socks.  Who would care?  Certainly not family dogs Moose or Torch, typically the only ones around while I enjoy my coffee and read my morning e-mails.

The next morning it happened again.  No attempt at a fashion statement.  It just worked – no cold feet and the comfort of the sandals.

When the weekend came, I went public with the family.  The boys rolled their eyes.  “Dad, you CAN’T do that!”  Well I did, but only in the house.

The more I wore the combo, the more I came to realize that not only were my feet warm – but they were warmer than if I wore shoes!  Money can’t buy this kind of toasty comfort!  So I grew bolder.

Walking the dog out in the neighborhood – no problem.  Then a trip to Wal-Mart.  A trip to Lowes, the dry cleaner, the convenience store. I wore the combo in the snow and even to a neighborhood party.  I’m not in shorts remember, so maybe nobody noticed.  Maybe they did.  I didn’t care.  Casual John = John in cheap sandals and wool socks.

With the trend now a habit, a drawer that hadn’t been opened in five years yielded three pairs of rag wool socks in like-new condition.  You’d think I’d won the lottery.  Earthy green, red and natural wool colors.  Snap! My poor family.

I can’t really describe (and I’m not sure you want me to) why it’s so comfortable.  If I had to guess, it’s most likely sweat evaporating instead of staying inside a shoe—creating “clammy” feet.

Be that as it may, warm weather is here, and the socks may have to go back in the drawer for a few months. 

On the other hand, there’s nothing worse than the chill of air conditioning.  I’ve yet to wear the new look in the mall or at a restaurant – but the day is coming.  You’ll know it’s me easily enough. And if you look 20 feet to the left or right, you’ll also be able to recognize my family.