HUNTING: To draw a buck, smell like a doe

Like it or not, every deer hunter worth his fox urine cover scent must also be a scholar of chemical attraction.

Of course, I aspire to be worth my fox urine cover scent, every last ounce of the bottle currently sitting in my garage next to the red oak acorn wafers and natural cedar incense sticks. To bag a big buck, you must think like one. And this time of year, with the rut almost upon us, that means thinking about sex.

Which is why I found myself, just days before the start of muzzleloader season, Googling “pheromones.“ After all, according to Wikipedia (yes, I know, famous last words), a pheromone is “a chemical signal that triggers a natural response in another member of the same species.“

That response is well-established in deer, not so much in humans.

From Wikipedia: “Few well-controlled scientific studies have ever been published suggesting the possibility of pheromones in humans.“

However, it went on to say that, “The male axilla, more commonly known as the armpit, has been hypothesized to be a source of human pheromones.“

My first thought, upon reading that was: “It’s sentences like that this that make people distrust Wikipedia.“ My second thought was that whether my axillae are giving off phermonoes to other people or not, I know for sure what they’re giving off to deer: a big stink.

I shower regularly, but that’s no help. A deer’s nose is 4,000 to 10,000 times more sensitive than a human’s. Sweat smell or soap smell both equal the stench of humanity to them. The solution to this problem, as any hunter knows, has spawned a cottage industry.

After finishing my Web surfing on deer sex and armpits, I drove out to the local hunting and fishing store. There I was greeted by aisles of products dedicated to combating the human stink. Some try to get rid of it, others cover it up. Some are for the body, others for clothing. It was overwhelming.

There were scent-killing body soaps, shampoos and conditioners - even face and hand lotions! There was laundry detergent, dryer sheets and spray bottles. That was just for getting the smell off. Then you had to decide which smell you wanted to put on.

Fox urine is a favorite, but how about a little doe-in-estrus? Maybe a “smoking stick” that smells like “natural pine” or a wafer called “Buck Rut Sex Scent?“

The only sensible thing to do seemed to be to buy it all. So I did, a little of everything.

“First time hunting?“ asked the nice young lady at the register.

I mumbled something about a deer’s nose being many times stronger than even a dog’s, then slunk out of the store.

On the drive home, I envisioned myself preparing for the hunt: I’d shower with my scent-control soap while the camo was being de-scented in the washing machine and drier downstairs. Then I’d get out of the shower and dry off with a towel already run through the scentless wash/dry cycle. I’d put on my clothes and spritz my boots with a scent-removing spray bottle. Then I’d have a decision to make: What to smell like, now that I smell like nothing?

How about some white oak acorn antiperspirant? Don’t want the axillae acting up out there! Sure, the rut is about to begin, but a buck still has to eat, right?

As for the overall scent, it seemed like a no-brainer to go with doe-in-estrus. Fox urine is so bow season. I should smell like a healthy lady whitetail just waiting to fulfill her biological imperative.

When I got home and emptied the shopping bag on the table, my wife laughed. “Are you going on a date with the deer?“ she asked.

It did seem absurd - a sea of animal-scent products spread out like candy after a successful night of trick or treating. Somehow even a bear attractant found its way home with me. Was I really going to use tarsal gland gel? What kind of fever state was I in at the store?

I guess it was buck fever, and judging by the number of other guys in the same aisle, I don’t think I’m the only one who has it.

Contact Andy Thompson at (804) 649-6579 or